


SNAFU (Situation Now All F___ed Up)

by Joycee



Category: White Collar
Genre: Anal Sex, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Oral Sex, Public Nudity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 06:36:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4425152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joycee/pseuds/Joycee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>White Collar investigates an ex-call girl who is now a fence for expensive jewelry and Neal gets seduced.  When the situation gets all fucked up, Diana comes to his rescue once again.  Neal makes Peter jealous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	SNAFU (Situation Now All F___ed Up)

When they gathered in the conference room to be briefed on their newest case, the White Collar team was surprised to see an alluring dark-haired beauty in a tight, low-necked red evening gown displayed on the screen.

Neal cracked, “Ooh, I’ll handle this case!” Diana rolled her eyes as Jones chimed in, “I call wingman.”

“Listen up,” Peter said, “This isn’t what it looks like.”

“It isn’t?” Neal asked, in high spirits, “Because it looks like….”

“Shut up, Neal,” Peter said pleasantly. “What we have here is an ex-call girl who is now a high-end fence for stolen jewelry. Vice sent it over to us.”

“Probably because of our stellar reputation,” bragged Neal.

“Shut up, Neal,” Peter said evenly. “We need to monitor her activities from the van and catch her in the act of buying and selling an expensive piece of jewelry, ideally with enough evidence to reveal her methods and show a pattern of offenses.”

Neal raised his hand eagerly. “I have an idea!” he said.

“I’ll bet you do,” said Peter. “All right, let’s hear it.”

“This is a perfect job for Gary Rydell, playboy extraordinaire and world class smuggler,” Neal suggested.

“He might need some help from Arthur Fort, the Pastry Baron of Brooklyn, too,” added Clinton, high-fiving Neal over Diana’s head.

“Just so you don’t bring Peter Williams, steel magnate, into it,” muttered Peter. Diana snickered and Neal smirked. Clinton just shook his head.

“Okay, let’s work out the details,” Peter said briskly. “Diana and I will be in the van.”

Neal rubbed his hands together and asked, “What’s the beautiful lady’s name?”

“Cassandra Ross,” replied Peter, looking at his notes. “Ooh, Cassie,” Neal cooed.

With surveillance from the van for a few days, they were able to get a feel for her schedule and method of operation.

Neal waited for her to come out of her office, then casually bumped into her, dropping a bug into her purse as he steadied her with his hand on her arm. He said, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going. Are you okay?” He gave her his most charming smile.

Cassandra recovered quickly and showed a definite interest in the good looking, well tailored man who had bumped into her. “You never know who you’re going to bump into these days,” she flirted.

Neal smoothly took the opening. “Come here often? Maybe we’ll bump into each other again sometime.” He gave her another brilliant smile and said, “But why leave it to chance? Would you like to get a cup of coffee with me?”

Dazzled, Cassandra replied, “I can’t right now, but I’d love to later, ummm….”

“Gary, Gary Rydell,” Neal fluttered his eyelashes and smoothly produced an elegant card with his name and number on it. “How about we meet back here this afternoon,” he suggested.

Inside the van, Diana rolled her eyes and chuckled, “I love watching Neal Caffrey in action. She hasn’t got a chance!”

“That’s Gary Rydell,” Peter corrected her. “Jealous, Boss?” Diana asked quietly and Peter gave her a withering look.

Neal bounded into the van, saying, “Score one for Gary! What’s for lunch?”

The plan was for Neal, as Gary, to romance Cassandra and then present her with an expensive piece of jewelry that he would tell her he had acquired overseas. Jones would pose as Arthur Fort, who happened to be in the market for just such a piece and who was supposedly given her number by one of her former clients.

They were delighted when Cassandra told Gary that, if he was interested in selling some of his smuggled jewelry, she knew a potential buyer. She told both “Gary” and “Arthur” to meet her at her upscale office that the van had been monitoring.

Cassandra met with Arthur first and offered him a drink. She told him, “I think you’ll be impressed with what I have to show you. There are some lovely matched sets that came from old European families.” She said she would be back in about an hour, which she needed to run a background and credit check on him. Then she left him relaxing with his drink and checking his email on his phone in a small plush lounge while she went to meet Gary.

She drew Gary into her outer office and suggested he have a drink with her. She was wearing a slinky black cocktail dress that probably cost more than a small car and stylish four inch heels. Gary put an arm around her waist and smoothly drew her to him for a kiss. After a couple of weeks of dating, he had really started to have sympathetic feelings for the sexy and charming lady with just a bit of a criminal side.

“Don’t you think it’s time I called you Cassie?” he murmured into her hair. She told him tantalizingly, “Only my lovers call me Cassie.”

Gary tightened his grip on her and tangled his fingers in her hair as he kissed her again, longer and deeper.

In the van, Diana said, “What’s he doing? Is all this really necessary?” Peter just frowned and listened. They had audio through Neal’s wristwatch, but the only video was in their minds.

Cassie responded to Gary’s lovemaking and, after a few minutes of heavy petting, she asked him mischievously, “Gary, have you ever had sex on the plush carpet of an executive office?”

“Mmm, sounds like fun,” he responded. Neal was turned on far more than the script required, having second thoughts about busting this adventurous and appealing woman. “Have you?”

“Not yet,” she told him seductively as she unbuttoned his shirt, “But I’ve always wanted to.”

Gary sighed and reached around and unzipped her dress, kissing her neck.

Cassie coaxed, “Come on, Gary, I want to see you naked,” running her hands over his muscled shoulders and chest inside his shirt.

“I will if you will,” he offered enthusiastically.

In the van, Diana said, “What?” and Peter said, “No, Neal….don’t fuck this up.” Diana giggled, “So to speak.”

Cassie slipped his shirt off and threw it over a chair. Then she started on his belt, stretching her face up to kiss him as she did it. He was aroused by her hands on his zipper and he kissed her back excitedly.

“When the cock gets hard, the brain gets soft,” he whispered. In the van, Peter muttered, “That’s for sure!”

Gary stepped out of his pants and said, “OK, my turn,” as he slipped her dress over her head, leaving her in a sexy black slip. They kissed passionately again.

Cassie slipped his underwear and socks off and kicked them aside and murmured, “Now, what about your watch?”

Neal reached for her and said, “Wait a minute, what happened to my turn?”

In the van, Peter and Diana watched with concern as an unknown male approached the building and let himself in.

“Who’s that?” Diana asked. Peter said, “I don’t know, but I don’t like it. He's armed.”

Diana wondered, “Why would she call in some muscle?” Peter said, “Maybe she didn’t call him. Let’s see what he’s doing there.”

“Sweetheart? Where are you?” came a definitely male voice from down the hall. “Cassie? Sweetheart?”

“Sweetheart?” echoed Neal. “Seriously? Is there something you forgot to tell me? Like you have a boyfriend, maybe?”

“Oh damn, Gary, quick get in here,” she told him, holding a door open.

The man’s voice sounded like it was right outside the door, so Neal quickly took her suggestion and she closed the door behind him.

In the van, Peter said, “That’s it! We’re going in now. Everybody move.”

When they got in, Peter followed Cassie and her visitor through the outer office into the executive office and immediately held up his FBI creds and said, “FBI. Freeze. You’re under arrest for dealing in stolen jewelry.”

Diana heard something in the closet and threw the door open to reveal Neal standing, gloriously naked except for his watch, in a small broom closet. “Are you kidding me, Caffrey?” she laughed.

Neal blushed and held his hands over his junk and groaned, “Oh no, not again. Diana we have to stop meeting like this!”

Diana grabbed his underwear off the floor and threw it to him, just as Jones walked in. He stopped in his tracks and laughed, “Hey, did I miss all the fun?”

As Neal hastily climbed into his undershorts, Peter walked out of the inner office, asking, “What’s so funny out here?” He stared at Neal in disbelief. “Aw, Nee-aal", he said, “What’ve you done now?”

Neal said grumpily, “Do you think a guy could get a little privacy to get dressed?” Then he flashed his gorgeous smile at them. “Unless you want to stay and watch?”

“Tempting,” said Peter, “but no thanks.”

When Neal got outside, fully clothed, he told his friends cheerfully, “At least I didn’t get drugged or beat up this time!”

“You didn’t get laid either,” said Peter, “although it looked like that was about to happen.”

“Gary was willing to sacrifice for the good of the operation,” Neal protested with a big grin.

Diana told him, “All I’ve got to say is the next time I come to your rescue, you better have your clothes on!”

“Oh, too much for you, huh?” joked Neal. “You wish,” Diana retorted.

Clinton said, “Well, at least I didn’t have to carry you out. How come Gary got to have all the fun while poor Arthur cooled his heels anyway?”

“Ladies choice,” Neal said flippantly.

“Come on, Casanova, I’ll give you a ride home,” Peter offered. When they got in the car, Neal teased, “Were you jealous?”

“Wait till I get you home and I’ll show you how jealous I was,” threatened Peter.

“Ooh, I can’t wait,” Neal said as he reached over and ran his fingers along Peter’s thigh.

Neal massaged Peter’s thigh sensuously all the way home, leaving both of them a little breathless. They made it up the stairs before exchanging a passionate kiss.

Neal began removing his shirt and, with his eyes twinkling, asked, “Do you want me to tell you what I was going to do after I got Cassie naked, Agent Burke?”

Peter, unbuttoning his own shirt, answered gruffly, “Yeah, tell me what you were going to do, Caffrey.”

“Take off your pants and I’ll show you,” Neal told him as slipped off his own pants and underwear.

Peter did the same, complaining, “This is a lot like strip poker, only without the poker.”

Neal came over and stuck his boner between Peter’s thighs and said thickly, “I’ve got a poker for you.”

Peter chuckled and teased, “That’s the line you were going to use?”

Neal continued, “No, I was going to kiss her like this and run my hands slowly over her body like this.” He demonstrated as he went. “I was going to lay her down on the carpet like this, and I was going to lie on top of her like this.”

He went on as he raised up on his knees, “I was going to get a condom on and grease it up like this,” pulling supplies from a drawer within easy reach. “Then I was going to get my hand nice and slick and put it between her legs like this and tease her and stroke her until she opened up for me.”

Neal began to lightly run his greased hand along Peter’s crack, teasing his asshole with his fingers, gradually inserting them and withdrawing them until he felt Peter relax and open up.

“Then I’d put my mouth here and I’d kiss her and suck her like this,” Neal said as he put his lips on Peter’s stiff penis and then took him in his mouth. Peter gasped with pleasure, as Neal continued to explore his hole with his fingers while he sucked his cock insistently.

Just when Peter thought he couldn’t last much longer, Neal moved up to lie on Peter and kissed his mouth deeply and wetly, using his tongue to thoroughly explore.

Neal said in a breathless, slightly hoarse voice, “Then I’d slowly enter her with my big hard wet cock,” as he pressed into Peter, drawing a sharp cry. “Then I’d kiss her some more and I’d fuck her till she was out of her mind.”

As he proceeded to demonstrate, he kept one hand firmly around Peter’s hot straining organ and stroked him in time with his anal penetration, provoking little cries of pleasure from Peter.

Neal panted, “And then I’d finally come inside her,” picking up his pace and plunging deep inside Peter until he did just that. As he collapsed onto Peter he gave his attention to making sure Peter got off, too.

After he withdrew his cock and tied off the condom and they both tried to catch their breath, Neal said with satisfaction, “That’s what I was going to do.”

Peter tightened his arms around Neal and said in a low voice, “Then yes, I would definitely have been jealous, Gary.”

**Author's Note:**

> The White Collar characters and aliases are from Season 3 of the USA television show created by Jeff Eastin.


End file.
